Researched Article - Review #2

I believe that the topic which is discussed is quite interesting and relatable for many people, though especially for those interested in sports.  You did a nice job working your way through the topic and bringing in many important facts and ideas.  Additionally, you were able to add a bit of humor to lighten the mood while still including the true gravity of the situation at hand.  Although much of the article was very well written structural, I felt as if it was a bit difficult to read due to several grammatical errors.  Most notably, there were several run-on sentences.  These issues can all be solved easily just by reading back through the article and recognizing what is wrong.  Overall, I felt that the structure of the article was nice and it allowed for the information to flow with relative ease.  Nonetheless, there are still a few areas where you could improve.  First of all, it appears in some sections that Blatter is your main focus.  While it is fine (and definitely beneficial) to include information about him, make sure you relate it back to your main point(s).  You should also try to give the readers reminders as often as possible (without being annoying) of how all of this affects them.  For example, you could continue your discussion on FIFA paying countries and how this all might affect everyday people.  One additionally and relatively minor issue which I saw is that your sources seemed relatively few and far between.  Make sure you cite all information that isn’t original.  Also, one of your main sources was from John Oliver, which is fine, but you might not want to base all of your information off of what he says, since these shows tend to be quite biased.  I think that once your resolve the grammatical errors, you will have a very nice article.